Comparing your first draft to someone else’s final draft will make writing difficult or impossible. Ashley Griffiths and I discussed this recently on his podcast, An Espresso Shot of Confidence.
As a confidence and video coach, Ash spends a lot of time helping his clients overcome comparisonitis so they can feel confident – even comfortable – on camera. Though we help people solve different problems, comparisonitis turns up similarly in our work.
But I’m not creative
Creativity comes up a lot in my work and in Ashley’s. He explored the issue with a piano teacher named Mark Deeks in a previous episode. Deeks frequently hears people say, “I can’t play a piano. I can’t play a musical instrument.”
Similarly, Ashley frequently hears people say they can’t possibly be comfortable on camera. They can’t use video to promote their business. It’s the same in writing, and Ashley pointed out something I’m familiar with as a writing coach:
in the writing sphere … I see this all the time, all the time. People are saying, I can't write. I'm not creative, I'm unable to write anything. Nobody wants to hear what I've got to say.
Where does this ‘I can’t’ thinking come from? Whether you’re trying to play an instrument, film a promotional video for your business, or write a blog post or book, a lot of it comes from negative feedback from others. When you start a new creative project or learn a new skill, as Ashley points out and I’ve discussed elsewhere,
you will get people, teachers, parents, maybe other colleagues, peers, that will say: You'll never be able to do that. You can't do that. This is no good. Don't give up your day job. What? You're wasting your time. And this can then end up stealing away the joy of writing and being creative, in whatever sphere we're talking about.
Ashley is absolutely right about this. If we listen to these people they will steal our joy and our creativity. When clients or potential clients tell me they’ve been told they can’t write, my answer is always ‘whoever told you you couldn't write is wrong.’
If you can talk about what you do or what you’re interested in, you can write about it.
Find proof that you are creative
When I was 16, my English teacher told me I’d never learn to write well and that I shouldn't pursue any degrees in the arts or humanities. Despite all evidence to the contrary (not least of which, my degrees in music and English), I still sometimes tell myself I’m not creative. I can’t write.
Part of getting myself out of that negative headspace is placing reminders around my office. That's why I have the word music in big wooden letters on one of the bookshelves near my desk alongside a framed postcard with a picture of an old wooden flute on a sheet of music.
I also make a point of keeping books I’ve written and coached nearby as tangible reminders of the creativity I’m actually capable of.
If you doubt that you can or should write, or if you ask yourself, "Who’s going to want to read my book or blog?” – do yourself a favour. Find all of the proof that you can that you are creative, that people do value your input.
If you've ever written a blog post, social media post, or email you’ve brought something into this world that didn't exist before. If you’ve recorded a podcast, you’ve brought something into this world that wasn't here before. That is literally creation.
You have created this thing. So, gather up all of that proof and put it where it will serve as a regular reminder that you are creative:
- Make a list of what you’ve created
- Put your creations (or pictures of them) in a box on your desk or folder on your computer
- Display your creations in your workspace
Don’t compare yourself to others
When we talk about creativity of any sort, people tend to think the world is divided into those who can and those who can’t. That’s rarely actually true.
When Ashley encounters someone who says they can’t sing or they can’t dance, he points out that they do “have vocal cords” and a mouth they can open; therefore, they can sing. For dancing, he shows them that so long as they can move some part of their body to the music, they can dance.
Ashley goes on to say that:
The issue is usually people compare themselves to successful writers, dancers, popular influencers online, popular bloggers, famous singers, whatever it is.
He’s right – the problem isn’t that we can’t do these things, it’s that we think we can’t do them as well as someone else does. Ashley summed this up by quoting Theodore Roosevelt who said, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” In fact, he did a whole episode on that quotation. Next time you sit down with an espresso, give it a listen.
When the issue of comparison comes up in my coaching (or in my own writing), I always remind my clients (or myself) that the people they’re comparing themselves to are showing you the final version, not all of the messy ones they started with.
It’s easy to forget this with published writing because we usually don’t see the early drafts. This is made worse by some of our most famous writers, like Wordsworth, who like to give unrealistic accounts of the creative process.
In his Preface to Lyrical Ballads he wrote that “Poetry is the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings [...] recollected in tranquillity”. That makes the writing process sound quite simple and straightforward. As though you should just be able to sit down under a tree next to some daffodils and write a perfect poem.
Wordsworth is also the man who spent the last 52 years of his life writing and rewriting his longest work, The Prelude, which was supposed to be the prelude to a much longer work. There are four major versions of it (1798, 1799, 1805, 1850), and we only stopped getting new versions because he died.
If Wordsworth, the first poet laureate appointed by Queen Victoria, needs multiple drafts to get it just right, I think we can allow ourselves the same.
Don’t expect it to be easy and effortless at first
When you start writing, whether you’re starting a new project, a new session, or you’re brand new to writing, remember this: the final drafts of books and blog posts you see other people publishing look effortless, that doesn’t mean they were.
Writing is a process, as I’ve written in an earlier post, “writers do not spring fully formed into being like Athena did from Zeus's head!” Not a single one of us was born knowing how to write – not even Shakespeare or Stephen King.
When Ashely and I discussed this issue, he made the point that even when something seems to spring into being fully formed, like when a musician happens on the right notes in a “moment of genius”,
what has enabled that moment of genius to come, is what's gone before, all of that noodling, messing around, and the building up of that confidence to go, ‘You know what, screw it, let's just see what comes out.’
So if your first (or even second, third, …) draft is more mess than masterpiece, pat yourself on the back. You’ve finished your draft! Your first draft’s only job is to be done. Your second draft’s only job is to be better than the first, and so on.
If you need help exploring the messy middle of a writing project, book a writing chat with me. If you’re struggling to allow yourself to be seen, get in touch with Ashley.
About Ashley Griffiths, host of An Espresso Shot of Confidence
Does getting on camera make you cringe and run for the hills? Then you need to speak to Ashley Griffiths. He is a confidence and video coach, who supports his clients to create videos that are full of their personality and passion for what they do. No generic, one size fits all stuff here. Personalised coaching that puts the YOU in your marketing.
Ash started exploring the wonderful world of videos when lockdown left him alone in his room with Casper the Friendly Ghost for company. One day, Ash got bored of talking to himself and created a nine minute video epic that only his mum watched. Despite this, something was born and more videos followed that required no requests of his mum.
Over time, people started saying how great his videos were and in the next sentence, they said but I could never do videos like that! Well, that was like waving a red flag in front of a bull. Four years later, Ash has supported many business owners to get past the fear of being on camera so they can create impactful videos full of personality and passion. No lip synching required.
Give him a follow on LinkedIn here: